To: the one you tolerate most

Rude Valentine's cards for people who are still together somehow

Love, but make it honest. Sweary Valentine's cards for couples who would rather laugh than read a poem.

What to know before you send one

Valentine's cards for husbands and wives

Two Cunts, One Mortgage says it better than roses ever will. The anniversary range doubles as the rudest Valentine's cards you can send to someone who already knows what you're like.

When "You're a Cunt" is romantic

The red heart version is the shop's most shared card for a reason. Blank inside, so the soppy bit is up to you.

Know your recipient

These are for a partner who gives as good as they get. Not a first Valentine's, and not for anyone whose mum reads their cards.

Found the person who deserves it?

Shop Valentine's cards on Etsy