Funny gay birthday card messages and puns
The best gay birthday cards are the ones your friend would have bought for you. Affectionate, filthy, and with a pun bad enough to be read out twice. Here is what to write in one.
Affectionate first, rude second
These cards are for friends and partners who own the joke, not for anyone who might not. If they call themselves worse than the front of the card on a normal night out, you are safe. If you are not sure, the pun cards do the job without anyone needing to explain themselves.
Puns and lines to steal
- Happy birthday, you faguette. Crusty on the outside, soft in the middle.
- Another year fabulous. Another year insufferable. Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday to the only person who makes my outfits look like a cry for help.
- You dropped your gay card. Picked it up for you. Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday, queersant. Flaky, buttery, adored.
- Older, wiser, still doing shots at brunch. Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday to someone who peaked at every age and refuses to stop.
- Cheers to the friend who has never once let me leave the house in that jacket.
- Happy birthday. Blow the candles out in public, for once.
- You are ageing like a fine wine, by which I mean you are getting more expensive to take out.
- Happy birthday. May your enemies be jealous and your exes be bald.
- Another trip around the sun, most of it spent on the dance floor.
Pick the card
Rainbow puns with a bad attitude, blank inside so the message is yours. These are the four that get sent most.
For Pride, coming out or no reason
The Faguette Pride card is not tied to a birthday. Send it for Pride month, for coming out, or because a rude croissant improves any week.
Keep the inside kind
The front has done the joke. Inside, say the thing you mean: that they make everything more fun, that you are glad they exist, that brunch is on you. Rude outside, soft inside, exactly like the croissant.