Funny Christmas cards for your husband, wife or partner
Christmas with the person you love is mostly negotiating whose family gets Boxing Day. The card is your chance to say something honest about it. Lovingly. Here is how.
Love, honestly
The best partner cards are specific. Not “you mean the world to me”, but the snoring, the duvet and the way they say “we said no presents” every single year. A real detail proves you have been paying attention, which is the romantic part.
Lines for your other half
- I would still choose you, even knowing about the snoring.
- You are the only person I would share the last roast potato with. Don’t push it.
- Another year of you saying “we said no presents” and meaning it less every time.
- Merry Christmas to the person who still can’t load a dishwasher.
- Christmas with you is my favourite. Christmas with your family is a strong fourteenth.
- You still give me butterflies. Mainly when you are driving.
- Merry Christmas, you heat-seeking duvet thief.
- I would give you my heart, but you would leave it on the floor next to your socks.
- We said twenty pounds each. I spent twenty pounds. Act surprised.
- Thank you for surviving my family. I owe you one and a half.
- I love you more than the selection box. Not the good ones, obviously.
- Here’s to another year of you falling asleep twenty minutes into the film you picked.
The in-law problem
Every couple has one relative who turns Christmas into a contact sport. I Love You More Than I Hate Your Family says it for you, warmly, and leaves the inside free for an apology. Family Christmas, Bring Alcohol is for whoever is hosting.
Pick the card
For partners who prefer honesty to poetry. Each one is 7 by 5 inches, blank inside, with a brown kraft envelope.
What to leave out
Their weight, their mother’s actual health, last year’s row and anything you would only say in a real argument. Rude is a love language. Cruel is a separate bedroom.